Tsunami puts it all in perspective

Today I feel like sitting in silence.
The stress of earlier this week....getting a photo shoot put together and pulled off seems so stupid now.
The anxiety, stress, frustration, witness of multiple melt downs is muffled and now seems so petty.
This is all landfill tomorrow.....I tried to remind myself when the designer is yelling at the top of her lungs.
It's hard to watch a child model walk up to the make shift office we have set up in the concrete studio.
They look so sweet and innocent. All those kids want is approval. They walk up to the table we look them up and down to determine what parts of their wardrobe need to be changed. The shirt works the pants don't. The kid just smiles but no one notices.
All this seems so ridiculous knowing that on the other side of the world hundreds of thousands of people lost their lives to a tidal wave of water.
I took a break during lunch. I went outside and laid back on the metal stairs that led down to the green belt between the studios. I laid their with the warm Texas spring time sun hitting my body. I pulled my curly hair over my face to screen it from the sun. I laid there thinking about those people. Their families that will mourn, the devastation, the helplessness of the people who are trapped on the roof tops without water or food. And then I think about those few months last year when I thought I was dying. Life became so clear. The joy of just breathing sent tingling sensations from my head to my toes. I cherished every moment from tasting food, feeling the air hit my cheek, the touch of my partners hand on mine, my daughters smile that mirrors mine, and on and on.....
As time progressed I felt the rapture, the spirit, the guide within me slipping further and further away. Now I lay awake at night and tears fall down my cheeks wanting that warmth back. I felt guided by this voice. This morning on my way to the shoot....I was stuck in traffic sitting at a red light line that went on for 3 blocks. I sat there in my car stressed because it was 7:45 and if the traffic was going to be this thick I wasn't going to make it to the shoot by 8:30. I sat there and thought, "o.k. so I'm here in this line of cars ..Universe, what is it that you want me to notice at this moment, right here?" The radio started playing, "You are loved" - I FELT IT AGAIN. A smile came over my face, the tingling was back, I started crying with joy. I am figuring out that I can access this at any time anywhere.